Life is a trial, or so they say. Life without stress and adrenaline would be a dull place. Stress in small doses keeps us healthier, more alert, and generally keeps our minds and bodies healthier. There are lots of things that happen in day-to-day life that contribute towards this daily dose of adrenaline. However I will now categorically state that there is very little that can be considered more stressful than dealing with Mobile Phone providers!
What is it about them? Why do they insist on describing their contracts as “Pay Monthly”? Why don’t they simply call them “Got you now you Bas**rd – try and wriggle out of this while we do our utmost to rip you off with supposed agreements that you have no recollection of”. To top it all, once you are released from the relative civility of the “sales” team, who are obviously more educated and possess the ability to interact in a human way, you then have to endure the wrath of the customer support teams that operate in some far-flung lands, and have a set of scripts to follow. Unfortunately, the words ‘understanding’, ‘compassion’ and ‘flexibilty’ do not exist in the glossaries of these scripts.
It is incredibly rare for me to ever lose my rag with anyone on the phone. I can almost always bring a dispute / discussion / negotiation to an amicable conclusion. However, twice in the last week I have literally wanted tophysically ram the offending telephone handset down the oesophagus of the person at the other end.
They absolutely INFURIATE me with their ‘company policy this, company policy that…’ nonsense, and their complete ignorance of the benefits of good customer relations. I’m not going to mention any names here, but you know who you are…. “VODAFONE” “3 MOBILE” (who said that?). I hate you! You are a bunch of unscrupulous, rude, ignorant, selfish, uncompromising, penny-pinching, inflexible monsters!
There you go, that felt good! It’s off my chest now. I’m sure I’m not alone, am I? What do you think?
Okidoki, here’s what it’s all about! Mrs C and I had decided to get DD2 a new phone for her birthday and as she was already fulfilling the last part of her contract with 3 Mobile, we decided to use an upgrade option to get the new all-singing, all-dancing “XXX” phone for her. So far, so good!
Phone arrives… looks nice, feels nice, tastes nice etc…. Do you like it DD2? We need to be sure, because the contract (Hahahahahaha…… boo hoo…. ) says that if it has been ‘personalised’ it cannot be returned. “Ooooh yeah! Like Nice! It’s like the sort of like thing that I like wanted because you can like go on like the internet and like MSN to like talk to peeps and stuff…. like! I like it!” was the approximate reply. As it was all said in ‘Modern English’ it seemed to merge in a sea of ‘likes’.
OK, the decision was made and we were all happy. Then, the SIM was inserted. This was the point of no return! Once you insert your SIM card, our friends at 3 class it as having been personalised. Guess what! MSN didn’t work, Internet browsing worked intermittently, Call kept cutting-out mid-flow, and now it won’t even receive an SMS message! However, how do you know if a phone doesn’t work UNTIL you put the SIM in it? So we contacted their customer service department and told them the story…. They knew about this sort of thing. It was a familiar issue, BUT they didn’t have any replacements in stock, and we were approaching the end of our ‘cooling-off’ period for the contract (Hahahahahaha…… boo hoo…. ) so we asked if they could provide an alternative. “Sorry”, they said…. “We don’t have an alternative”. At this point, Gok Wan was still talking to me from their homepage and I wanted to throw the stupid phone at him to shut him up! “Button it Gok!” Either that or tell this person that I’m speaking to that my phone doesn’t work!
Right, let’s take stock here! We have a new phone, that doesn’t work, that the supplier doesn’t have a replacement for. What are our options? I know, we’ll use our ‘cooling-off’ option that the contract (Hahahahahaha…… boo hoo…. ) provides and look at other alternatives. Now has anyone reading this ever tried to exercise their right to cool off from a mobile phone contract (Hahahahahaha…… boo hoo…. ) ? Believe me, it would be easier to rid the world of AIDS than it would to get a customer service representative in 3 Mobile’s Mumbai call centres to agree to cancel an upgrade contract (Hahahahahaha…… boo hoo…. ).
We have now stopped dealing with the call centre and will approach other avenues. Wish us luck?
If you’re wondering about the relevance of the Hahas and Boohoos, it’s simply because 3 mobile love to quote ‘contract’ in their argument, but seem totally happy to completely ignore it when we try to argue ours!
I’ll Keep you posted!
I’m now slightly more bald than I was when I first wrote this post, and I’m sure that my overall lifespan has been reduced by at least a couple of years, but guess what!!! An agreement! To cancel the contract! I had to shake my head and commit a cotton bud to each ear to make sure I heard it correctly, but… Yeayyyy! They agreed. However, can you imagine my reaction when they then started to try to sell me another one?
No, let’s not go there… This page should remain suitable for chldren.
(And they all lived happily ever after :-))